Monthly Archives: January 2012
To have qualities that stand out about you, that neither adhere nor submit, but instead play with and edge outside the generic norm in a way that’s creative and interesting….that is infinitely cool.
You don’t need things like superficial approval or alliances or competencies or role-plays to feel entitled. Your value lies in your ability to be unique and express it.
Value comes down to attitude. As an individual who thinks for himself, your story and your humour and your outlooks are fascinating and worthwhile. When you’ve cultivated a personality that you think is authentic and you convey this with power and conviction, others will think so too.
Our minds are naturally driven to rationalize our opinions of people (how attractive they are, how fun they are to be around, etc…) based on their value to us.
This occurs by our selective focus. While logically there is always an entire person that we can perceive, emotionally there are always particular qualities of that person that we’re compelled to focus on to rationalize how we feel.
What that means is that whenever we interact with someone, we selectively focus in on specific qualities that we can use as our “reason” for how we feel about them, and then filter out any of their qualities that would contradict that view.
Vivid language works because it taps into our emotions. Emotions are the single most powerful force of persuasion. Without emotions, our words are pallid and lifeless.
The word emotion comes from the Latin emovere, which means to move away or to move greatly.
As rational human beings, we like to think that logic drives most of our decisions. But the fact is, in most persuasive situations, people buy on emotion and justify with fact. People may be persuaded by reason, but they are moved by emotion.
Some thirty inches from my nose The frontier of my Person goes, And all the untilled air between Is private pagus or demesne. Stranger, unless with bedroom eyes I beckon you to fraternize, Beware of rudely crossing it: I have no gun, but I can spit.
On Compliments
Have you ever noticed when someone compliments you too much, you just want to get away…and hope it’s over soon?
It’s amazing to me that so many folks never seem to notice this simple basic truth. I can think of a handful of people that almost always will over compliment, or kill me with kindness every time I see them. As if it’s some sort of way of making rapport, though the opposite is the end result.
Just another humble opinion. Keep compliments short and to the point, and try to take note not to do the same upon meeting the same person again.
