Obviously I’ve been on a Carl Rogers kick. If anyone is curious this is him with “Gloria”…the same lady Fritz was with in a previous post.
Facebook Is The Dregs Of Communication
I couldn’t help myself and went back to Facebook for about 6 or 8 months. It may be obvious but I have a bit of a “problem” in that I make my surroundings, depending, my social laboratory.
It would be very interesting to see a good tome relating to psychology and social web sites. It seems there may be something going on when most of us log in that we are all unaware of to some degree.
For instance. Look at any friends pictures. They all contain people having a shit load of fun, at the beach, rockin’ Vegas, playing with a new born. Of course these are typical pics people will put up….but I ponder if it may depress people in a manner of “I wish I was that happy”. A complex of being a little bit less than X. Hit someone on a bad day and seeing those happy clappy pictures could easily make more emotional folks spiral down a bit more.
After my recess of about 2 years the first thing I did was delete people I didn’t know. This included roughly 500 magicians (Over 150 and a person is mostly insecure…actually this number is based on findings that people can only remember an average of 150 items/people etc). I only left people I know as acquaintances mostly, or friends whom know me well enough I could do anything without judgement. Few family members etc. The reasoning is it seems fairly obvious that few to none are gaining respect on social websites, yet are surely losing respect. A for instance was a truck driver I see every now and again, whom is very kind and a good conversationalist. As per the post that effected me, he openly stated how much money he spent on dinner and whatnot for a night on the town, ending the post with “Priceless”. It was fairly obvious he was “showing off” he spent 300 dollars for a night on the town. Harmless? Yes I think so, but I couldn’t help but think “that’s pretty beta”.
During my comeback, I posted like I wanted to gain fame through Facebook. About 5 posts a day. Many purposely very open for debate and discussion. It was the sounds of silence on posts that had any aroma of conversation starter. The big hits? Pictures of kittens hanging from a rope, or text with “funny” little sayings that were mildy rude.
Here is an interesting bit. The most interesting and intelligent people I knew on my list never post anything, or extremely rarely. It’s as if they know better than to say jack shit there. I tend to agree with these good friends, and plan on asking them soon, why they are so quiet, yet online quite frequently.
The surprise factor for me was the blatant disrespect as per the topic. One night I posted how I like to watch Hoarding shows on Netflix. A lady asked if I would like to go out and have a drink with her. The next comment below was chewing out this lady how he wouldn’t fuck her with Satan’s cock etc. On the other hand when I would mildy and sensibly debate a topic with others that they made, the poster rarely to never was insulted, but an X person I didn’t know almost always would use Ad hominem or literally “Did you just crawl out from under a rock, welcome to america!” or some brash comment (which I assure the readers here I “won” by posting one more time, to complete silence…there rarely was anywhere to go but say “sorry”….yeah right.).
In the end I’m a fan of just good old texting. It’s straight up conversation, which social sites do not REALLY provide. It’s a very pseudo yet addictive format that seems to me to be horribly flawed.
Anyway. A little rambling for fun, which I love. In the end I truly feel that social people in the “real world” should stay away from Facebook and just read. It’s a fucking mess, and chances are fair someone is either going to stalk you because they are your biggest fan, or are going to gain some new haters. The rest are flat line as per my side. Personally I tend to look at it like women in bars….they usually start off hot, yet one wrong word or action is all it takes sometimes for her to turn cold and less interested.
As Per Carl Rogers
-In my relationships with persons I have found that is does not help in the long run, to act as though I were something that I am not.
-I find I am more effective when I can listen acceptantly to myself and can be myself.
-I find it of enormous value when I can permit myself to understand another person.
-I have found it enriching to open channels whereby others can communicate their feelings and private perceptual worlds to me.
-I have found it highly rewarding when I can accept another person.
-The more I am open to the realities in me and the other person, the less do I find myself wishing to rush in to “fix things”.
-I can trust my experience.
-Evaluation of others is not a guide for me.
-I like discovering order in experience.
-Facts are friendly.
-What is most personal is usually most general.
-People mostly have positive direction.
-Life at it’s best is a flowing changing process in which nothing is fixed.
Live And Let Live
There is a former high school teacher I see every now and again at a bar who works a sort of magic on me. We all can think back to a conversation that flows so well it feels as if time slows down and an important battery finally got recharged. Why does this seem so rare? Is it simply that I and the high school teacher have a lot in common? Perhaps it’s because we both have the same verbal patterns and rhythm?
I think the secret lies in the fact that we both are being our true authentic selves. The walls are always down and he sees my potential in conversation and I his. Think about it for a moment. Any reasoning we give as to the whys of a good conversation the root is always authenticity to be ones self in true form. This never seems as easy as it should be though. I ponder how many readers will go by here and can honestly say “I was my real self at that party/reception/BBQ etc., with no masks.” Chances are fair if we were truly honest, we probably were acting more how we think others THINK we OUGHT to be.
I try to be as unapologetic in being “real” in society as possible. It does have consequences sometimes, but in the end it usually pans out as a positive. One instance that flashed in my mind recently was…. 2 guys trying to buy a girl a drink that wanted to leave. She said “no” but these 2 guys persisted with “C’mon” to actually yammering things like “You should try the White Russian here…no…how bout an Apple blah blah”. I made eye contact and said “No means no, I learned that in about 4th grade”. Whew! You all should have seen the fire in these 2 guy’s eyes!. I assure my readers here, my body frame dictates I’m going to lose in most fights. But I was being my true self, in that I CAN’T STAND men that persist on these levels and terms upon a woman. Secondly guys that buy women drinks, they don’t really know, are LOSERS. Sure, I was aware I might take a punch in the face, but I also knew the result would be like one of those corny 80′s movies….I got your girl Hercules.
It’s amazing how simple, and obvious this all might be, but the mix of being our true selves, while the other party is doing the same is golden. Let not only ourselves be true and open, but allow the ones we are with to do the same.
“Fritz Perls & ‘Gloria’ 1975″
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Be alive! This is a really great video I think. Much to be learned for those in tune with this kind of thing.
